Move over Jenny Craig...

So...I've had more than one person ask me how I lost all that weight...they anticipate my answer...its as if I am going to tell them where to find the Holy Grail...

So I says...have a parent die and live on nothing but cigarettes and coffee for 4 months...throw in chasing after 2 children under the age of 4 and its a sure thing...voila...there goes 70lbs...see ya later fattie...

I know that's not the answer they wanted to hear...but its the truth...and its a little odd because I have always been an emotional eater...if I was sad I ate...angry I ate..happy I ate...but I remember the day my dad told me he only had a few months to live..I literally could not bring a fork to my mouth..I wasn't even hungry...I eat now obvioulsy...but I'm just not shovelling it in like I was before..I'm sure the pounds will begin to add up...whenever I watch tv I need to munch on something..so for the last few nights I've been noshing on popcorn, chips and ice cream at like 9pm...there will be consequences no doubt...

Which leads me to my next topic...

When my dad passed away...all I heard and read is that it gets easier...I didn't believe it at the time...but its true...I mean...the ache of losing and missing my dad is still there everyday...but somehow its different...life goes on...it has to go on...his death no longer consumes my life...we had to find a new normal...yes, I realize that grieving is an individual process...no two people grieve in the same way...I am open with my grief...my brother tends to keep his private...not that I can speak for him..but I think it may be harder on him...he is getting married next month..my dad won't be there...his future children will never meet their grandfather...that must be difficult...its a small comfort to me that my dad did get to walk me down the aisle and he got to hold, love and play with all of my children...tomorrow my dad would have turned 61..if he was here..we would have went out to eat, have cake and teased him for getting old...well, I plan to do the exact same thing tomorrow...I know he will be there..he is with me all the time...

I had to move our dinner with friends to Sunday...but Doug let me know this morning that he may have to fly to Newfoundland for a week and will have to leave Saturday morning...its hard to make plans when he could be sent away with a few days notice...in the last 5 years or so we have only spent 2 nights apart..I don't know how I am going to react...I might enjoy it or it might be a week of hell...and if I am miserable you all will know it...


My mac and cheese was so good last night...it really is a comfort food to me..

Its the simplest thing to make...my issue is grating the cheese...I have arthritis in my hands and its hard to get a good grip on anything for longer than a minute...just ask Doug...then I remembered I purchased a shredder attachment for my Kitchen Aid mixer..so I hooked it up and it works like a dream...when I was looking for my shredder I found my pasta making attachment..when I bought my mixer I went a little nuts and bought every accessory to go with it...so I think I will make homemade pasta in the next few days...should be interesting...