Left unsaid...

There is a place I have to call a few times a week...there is a special lady that works there...she had a stillbirth last year...she lost her baby girl. The last few times I have called, she has answered, she knows who I am, and she knows that I know she lost her baby, she knows I just had a baby...I get uncomfortable and stammer my words, wanting to end the phone call quickly, as thinking her hearing James crying in the background might be upsetting..we hang up....I call the next day, she answers, James is fussing...the call ends...

What I really want to tell her is that I am so very sorry for her loss....

And in case she does read this blog, I'm posting a poem I found and thought of her..maybe she has read it already, but it is beautiful and I'm putting it up anyways...


Don’t let them say I wasn’t born,
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I’ve loved you from the start.
Although my body you can’t hold
It doesn’t mean I’m gone
This world was worthy, not of me
God chose that I move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face
You have my word, I’ll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.
You’ll hear that it was meant to be,
God doesn’t make mistakes
But that wont soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.
I’m watching over all you do,
Another child you’ll bear
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.
There will come a time,
I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips
And then you’ll understand.
Although I’ve never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesn’t mean I never was,
An Angel never dies.

-Author Unknown