He is doing really well, doing everything that is expected of him, its just trying to get rid of that jaundice..his bili level went down quite a bit since yesterday, he is now 175...he needs to be under 100 before they even consider letting him go home..Also, his hemogloblin level has dropped, so there may be a blood transfusion in his near future..But think he is quite happy though, all the nurses think he is very handsome and I'm sure he loves all the female attention, actually I know for a fact, he has more than one girlfriend...
It is very stressful for me at the moment, trying to deal with him being away and sick, taking care of my other kids, worrying about Hallie and Leah catching swine flu...they are no longer allowing siblings to visit the NICU, so now we have to find someone to watch them when we want to visit....
I am keeping Hallie home from school until she gets her H1N1 shot, its spreading like wildfire in the schools here, and it is far to risky to send her...if she and Leah catch it, they could very easily die from it, myself included...Doug will have to be done also..and probably anyone else that comes around my kids...
Another thing, I am getting tired of people telling me..."well you have had your babies sick and in the NICU before, so you should be used to it" It does not get any easier, when your baby is sick and in the NICU, it does not matter if you have been there a million times, it is painful and heartbreaking and no mother/father should have to deal with it...you carry your baby for 9 months only to have him taken from you, you can't hold or even nurse him...I look at all his empty bassinet home and I try my damnest not to cry, no it does not get any easier...
I've had to watch mothers leave the hospital with their babies in their arms, happy- go- lucky..as they should be..yet, one floor below them is the NICU...a very depressing place...babies no bigger than a little doll, fighting for their life, I've had to listen to babies scream as they are getting IVs put in..I see the other mothers there, its like we belong to an exlusive club that nobodys wants to join, our eyes meet, we know what the other is feeling...
However, I will say that maybe I am a *little* thankful and maybe lucky with having my babies in the NICU..I know how fragile life is, I love them all that much more..I take no moment with them for granted..
Jesus, I did not mean to write such a depressing entry, but my hormones are wacky..
Here is a short video of James after he was born..
WARNING
I am semi naked and if you look close enough you might catch a glimpse of my female bits.. so, don't look closely
In my room after the birth..
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